About Me

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We have had this blog since 2009 now and I haven't wrote much in it. So this is just a blog about our life together as new parents. Matt and I worked together when a friend of ours set us up. We dated a week before we became engaged and in February 2012 we will celebrate our 3 year anniversary. Three days before our two year anniversary we welcomed our beautiful baby boy, Lucas Clint.

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Grinning and Bearing, That's Never Been Me!

I don't understand why people don't own up to screwing up. I'm the type of person that if you do something to hurt me and piss me off. I will tell you that's how I've always been. An if you're dumb enough to not care and do it again then I can become, some have called hostile. I'm not going to be the one to fix a damn thing when people have continued to hurt me! There is a quote that I absolutely love: "There is no try, only do."- Yoda. Yoda is Rockstar! But it's true you don't try to change you just do it. You don't try to fix things, you do it. YOU! Not me I'm not going to pretend that you're actions towards me were okay. They were far from it. Quit making yourself out to be a victim. YOU AREN'T! YOU CAN'T JUST TREAT SOMEONE THAT WAY AND THEN BE SURPRISED WHEN THEY ARE MAD AT YOU. You are the reason why we aren't friends and I don't care if we are.

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

I don't know

Yesterday was another bad day again. Work sucked and Matt and I got into another fight. I almost left because I was so mad at him. The last couple days have been so rough. It was two months ago Sunday that my dad died and it feels like it was yesterday. I went to the store yesterday because I plan on making french macarons today. I also decided to buy a copy of the new star wars movie, bad idea. At least this soon. You're probably wondering why, so I will explain. The Sunday before dad died, I talked him into seeing the next tuesday. A theater here does $5 Tuesdays so it was perfect. Plus he hadn't seen it yet and I wanted to talk about it with him so bad. He didn't really feel like going. I mean he even asked my mom that day whose idea was it. But we went and we took my nieces and Luke with us and they all had so much fun. Even dad. Then after we saw it we talked about it, our thing. The next day at that same time he was dead though we still didn't know it. So Luke wanted to watch it last night but we didn't finish it because I had a panic attack. I've been having them a lot since dad died, though they started two months before when my grandma died. I was really close to her as well. But its different with my dad. See i had, sort of gotten passed her death. She was sick since 2011 and it wasn't if she would die as to when. My dad's was sudden, very sudden. Though my mom thinks nothing could have been done to save him, I still beat myself up. I felt like I should stay and I didn't and Im mad that I didn't. It took me a long time before I could calm down. Maybe I'm going crazy. I just hope there will come a day when I can watch that movie, finish it and without having a panic attack.