A Long Weekend.

As if the title of this post says it was a long weekend. It was also a very long week. Matt spent this whole week working at Camp Williams. A few of the officers in Matt's unit went to Cambodia on Thursday so they had him work Monday - Thursday to help with that and to get ready for the three day drill weekend he had. He had to be at Camp Williams at 7 am on Friday and gets home some time tomorrow. I think that's the reason why this weekend has been so long, with him gone since Friday its been tough. It reminds me of when we had been married six days when he had to go to South Korea for two weeks. I don't know how I would handle it if he ever got deployed like he wants! But having Luke here has helped, working though hasn't especially today. I don't know what I did but I ended up getting a pinched nerve in my back while i was at work earlier. At least it wasn't a migraine or the vertigo stuff lol. I just can't wait until Matt gets home. We will actually be able to celebrate his birthday.

Grateful

You know I'm so grateful that we have a Heavenly Father that loves all of us so much that he sends us certain people to help and guide us. People that give us the strength to keep going when you just want to give up. I'm blessed to have a husband that stands by me when I get frustrated or makes me feel like I'm the most beautiful girl in the world when I'm not wearing any makeup and look gross from being sick. He challenges me so I can realize my dream. I have friends that I've known for so many years, that have seen me at my worse and have still helped me get to where I am today. That without their support and example I would not be alive let alone be married to a wonderful husband and mother of a beautiful little boy. This poem that I received many years ago from one amazing friend fits with just how grateful i am for the people in my life. I didn't write this. :

People come into your life for a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime.

When you know which one it is,
you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty,
to provide you with guidance and support,
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then,
without any wrongdoing on your part
or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something
to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met,
our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered
and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real.
But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,
things you must build upon in order
to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson,
love the person
and put what you have learned to use
in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life,
whether you were a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime.

My Mother's day

Today was quite enjoyable, went to church, visited grandmas and my mother in law, then went out to eat with my whole family. It was a great first mothers day for me and yet i feel... blah. I don't know why I'm feeling this way, its not because of the migraines though they are still just as festive as they have been. I feel lonely i guess and a little lost it and it bothers me. I mean I have a great life i shouldn't be feeling this way. I should be happily wanting to do whatever. But lately i haven't. Matt tries to help as best he can and most days he does but some days I'm way too depressed to let him. I know its hard on him and I can tell he misses the girl I use to be I just wish for his sake that I could be that girl again. I just wish it was August already then I would be busier with school so much in fact that maybe I wouldn't notice how lost, lonely and depressed I am.

Back to work.

Its my first day back to work, and I'm not really looking forward to it. I mean i do need to get out of the house but I'm going to miss Luke. Plus I'm afraid that I'm going to have problems today but I'll have everything I'll need to make sure it doesn't happen. I still surprised that I was able to find out whats wrong. I thought I never would and would have ended up having to quit. Though I'm also surprised that they haven't fired me!!! I'm really looking forward to when I get home from work. Matt is taking me out to dinner and We got an awesome babysitter for Luke thanks to an awesome sister in law. We really need to go out on a date its been too long and its definitely needed. Well sadly time for work.

All of this just for a Lousy headache, REALLY???

So I had my appointment with the ear, nose and throat doctor today. It was kinda crazy, complete with a free "ride" and a little bit of dizziness. Come to find out that the doctor really thinks its migraines!!! GO FIGURE!!! He explained that everyone has different migraine symptoms and mine cause vertigo! So he suggested to see a neurologist, yay another doctor. After we left I was thinking about every single one of these vertigo episodes, i realized that it made since. I know the recent ones that I remember have came equip with quite a stellar headache that seems to linger a bit longer than the vertigo. Well I have always noticed the early signs of the dizzy spells and never knew how to stop them. Today they started so I took some Excedrin and an hour later it was completely GONE!!!! It didn't even get a chance to be as bad as they usually are. So now we finally know what is wrong with me and what to do to fix it. And now i can go back to work though I still would rather stay home!!!

Meclizine and Gripe Water, Make my life easier!!!

Well I have to say the Meclizine actually works which I have to be honest it makes me disappointed. I have been taking it when the dizziness starts only as a last resort. See the doctor told me that taking it could diminish my milk supply so i haven't wanted to take it at all. However its too late regardless, my milk is completely gone! I have to be honest i have mixed feelings about it. I mean I really enjoyed breast feeding him it was the best way for us to bond. It was the best thing for him but my body decided not to make enough for him. But i have to say I'm a little bit glad I have been so afraid that hes not getting enough nutrients because I honestly don't eat very well and sometimes not at all. So at least hes going to stay healthy. Anyway the Meclizine also has been working with the dizziness and nausea so that's good. And even with me being afraid that Luke isn't eating enough, he has started wearing size 3-6. And hes only 2 months old!!! He still can fit in 0-3 but they are fitted a bit lol. He is colic has become worse, he has been crying a lot the last few days hopefully the gripe water starts working again. Yesterday was the ward talent show and i was crazy enough to bake something for it. If all the cupcakes that I made last week weren't enough I made some more. They were a chocolate cake with a peanut butter filling and a chocolate ganache on top. They were a huge hit and I was able to leave with no leftovers!!!