Very Hard Day

Well today was a hard day. Thanks in part to Facebook's on this day and in part because of my job. Two years ago this week Matt and I took Luke to Disneyland. My parents went with us. It was so much fun. On Facebook today was the pictures with Luke and my dad in the tender seat on the train and while we were waiting do the train. With work, I working in a bakery and one of the baker positions became available. I went to school two be a baker so perfect for me. No one told me that it was available until it was too late and offered to the donut fryer who is 18 with no experience. Yeah I'm pissed. I wish I could talk to my dad about this. He was the only one that was there for me. So of course with him gone I have no one. I feel like I'm all tied up or something. Completely tense and out of control and I can't breathe. I don't know. I need someone to help me through it but I don't. Do I really have to ask for someone to be there for me? I shouldn't have to when I'm going through the hardest thing that I have ever experienced. But when I do people act like they are victims like they are the ones who lost their dad and I'm the one not there for them. And I end up being the one apologizing to them!? There is something wrong with that. Seriously they need to look at the following especially #2, #8, #9 and #22